Getting a Sponsor

Why have a sponsor?

We ask a sponsor to help us through all three levels of our program of recovery: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Find a sponsor who has what you want and ask that person how they are achieving it.

How do I find a sponsor?

Ask someone to be your sponsor. It is important that that person has worked the steps and that they are abstinent. It’s nice to find a sponsor at a meeting you both attend. If you ask someone and they say, “no” – then gather up your courage and ask someone else.

Here are some ways to find a sponsor. Attend a few meetings and listen to someone who has what you want. We suggest you look first to the groups in your area for sponsors, attending as many meetings as you can. You are not limited to any minimum or maximum number of meetings. Visit other meetings and local OA events. Sponsors are often asked to identify themselves, and you can then approach them and ask if they are available.

Another resource for sponsors is the telephone and/or online meetings. The Telephone Meeting or Online Meeting search will help you gather names of members in other areas who are willing to sponsor long-distance, in a variety of electronic ways.

Sometimes local intergroups/service boards provide a list of members willing to sponsor. To locate the intergroup or service board closest to your area go to the Find Service Body section of the Find a Meeting page.

You can also contact your region which may have a list of names of members willing to sponsor. To contact someone in your region, go to the region page. You will find the region map and websites where you can send a request for assistance. Each region and service body is autonomous; therefore, some regions may have this service while others do not.

Can I have a temporary sponsor to get me started?

Definitely! Based on the OA pamphlet, Where Do I Start, a new person calls a temporary sponsor for 12 days to talk about the basics of Overeaters Anonymous. Then the newcomer can decide if OA is right for them.

What if I don’t like to bother people?

Most of us don’t like asking for help, but we have to overcome that. A good sponsor has boundaries and will let you know if they are available for a chat or a Zoom meetup. You may hear: “This helps me more than it helps you.” Step 12 says “we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters,” and helping another person is part of your sponsor’s ongoing commitment to their own recovery.

What will my sponsor ask me to do?

Ask. Each sponsor is different. Some of the things your sponsor might suggest are sharing the food you have eaten or plan to eat, calling at a regular time, reading literature, and completing writing assignments.

How do I choose a sponsor?

Find someone who has what you want and ask that person how he or she is achieving it. 

Do I have to agree with everything my sponsor tells me?

No. If your sponsor’s ideas sound strange or unclear, speak up and ask questions. This should be an easy, open relationship in which both parties talk freely and honestly with each other. Often, we learn by asking questions. Your sponsor might learn, too!

Can I have more than one sponsor?

Yes. A member may work with more than one sponsor and may change sponsors at will. Ask a member who has what you want from the program and how he or she is achieving it. 

If I’m not a newcomer, is it too late to get a sponsor?

No. A member who has been in — or “around” the Fellowship for many years often finds that getting a good sponsor, talking frankly, and listening can make the whole program open up as it never did before. Most members feel that sponsorship is a vital part of their ongoing growth and progress in recovery, including persons who have long-term abstinence.

Sponsorship can be the answer for the person who has been able to achieve only interludes of abstinence or who has attended meetings casually and has not really taken the First Step. For such a person, a sponsor with a firm grounding of abstinence can make all the difference.

With a sponsor’s help, we can use the program to the fullest, change our attitudes, and, in the process, come to enjoy our abstinence.

What if the relationship isn’t working out?

You are never stuck with one person and can always change sponsors.